15 Reasons To Get Rid Of Sierra
by Cereal-Killa
Summary: Cody tells it to you straight. Girl needs to go! :D Sierra bashing. Don't like, don't read! Some implied G/C :


**15 Reasons To Get Rid Of Sierra**

Summary: _Cody tells it to you straight. Girl needs to go! :D Sierra bashing. Don't like, don't read!_

I need to get rid of Sierra BECAUSE:

1: Sierra is a creeper. Have you ever heard girls say 'There was this guy staring at me in the mall, and he was so totally trying to hit on me and he was like, forty! I mean, OMG, so not hawt!' Well, that creepy old man is Sierra. No joke. You know how those creepy old men stare like those girls some type of meal and they haven't had a bite in years? Well take that, and then multiply it by infinity. That's the way Sierra stares at me all the time. She looks at me that way that Owen looks at chicken. And that's disturbing.

2: Actually, she's worse than a creeper old man. I think it's appropriate to call it stalking. Actually, I'm 100 percent sure it's right to call it stalking. She had a pair of my pee stained underwear that she stole. I mean, WHY the hell would you **ever** want that? I know that it's not all that unusual to steal undergarments, but not a dirty one that has yet to be washed. Courtney claims she saw her lick it once. Either Courtney was being an asshole or, on the much more likely note, the crazy freak was licking it. Maybe I should get a restraining order. I feel the need for one. She's licking my underwear. Let me repeat this- SHE IS LICKING. MY. UNDIES. Something is not right here.

3: She will quite possibly cause my death and ultimate end. I'm pretty sure if I don't marry her (which is NOT happening), she will kill me in a fit of uncontrollable jealousy and rage. I know that I sound a little self-centered, but the girl has offered many times. Let not forget that she licked my drawers. She is on her knees for me, and of course, the only person who wants me, the only stalker I can get has to be the most unattractive person I've ever laid eyes on. Lucky me.

4: Sierra looks and sounds like a man. She has huge muscles that are not at all feminine, which she uses to pick me up with and carry me around like some type of baby. Last time I checked, it should be the other way around. Not to be sexist, but that's the way it's supposed to be, right? Man picks up girl? And her VOICE! When she talks, it's at least a bit bearable (although she sounds like a five year old boy). But oh, god! When she sings? When she sings, it sounds like a mix of Duncan and DJ, with a little bit of auto-tune. And I'm sorry, but there is nothing attractive about a Duncan/DJ 'cash-cash' remix.

5: She is always touching me! She can't seem to help but be in contact with me or hooked on to me in some way. Latched to my arm, groping my head, pulling on my leg, squeezing my butt- and that's not even the half of it. Personal space doesn't seem to be in her vocabulary. Back up, dude. Just BACK. AWAY. It's like every single time she touches something or reaches out to grab anything, it's a part of or on my body. She always tries to reach for my 'little man down stairs' about a hundred times a day. Do you understand that anyone else doing that would turn me on? Not her. ANYONE- no, anything, but that.

6: Whenever she eats, she always tries to make it all sexual. I've seen her do it. She only does it when I'm looking, as to when I'm not paying her attention she shoves her face full of food. But I'd prefer that any day over watching her rape a sandwich. She's truly sexually harassing every single food group with her tongue. She was getting into rough foreplay with some yogurt earlier. Can you even comprehend how messed up that is? Really though. She should be arrested for treating a dairy product with such failing seduction.

7: She's freaking huge! You know how some boy and girl couples have a height difference, you know? How sometimes the guy is a little taller than the girl or the girl is a little taller than the boy (if you need an example, think me and Gwen)? Well, Sierra is an Amazon, at least compared to me. She towers over me and many of the other guys here on the show- and it's not attractive, not in the least. Mostly because she doesn't know how to pull it off correctly. You know how most people know how to dress their body appropriately so that we don't look at their flaws as much? Well, Sierra can't do that. She wears a thin layer of clothing with TOO much skin showing for her own good. It makes me envision a giant monster, like the Incredible Hulk or something, growing out of their clothes to max size.

8: Sierra is quite possibly the biggest reason keeping Gwen from loving me. You may think it's Trent, or, more currently, Duncan, but no. This… thing is giving this Gwen this signal that I'm off limits, unavailable. Are you KIDDING me? I'm available for anything when it comes to Gwen? Gwen was going to hug me during one of the challenges. And Sierra told her to back off. I'm very sure my first thought was to that was to slap that ugly snarl off her face for taking away contact with Gwen. She's supposed to be obsessed with the show, right? Shouldn't she know that I am in love with Gwen, not her? Needless to say, I am STILL waiting for my Gwen hug.

9: The girl types up her blog on a pizza box. She clicks with a dead mouse. Do you understand that I ordered that pizza three months ago? Never got a bite, not that I want one anymore, and not just because it's getting older than CxDxG love triangle. But because her disgusting hands touched it. Considering how fast she gets out of the bathroom, I'm very sure she doesn't wash those hands. Ever. They probably still smell of my dried peed on underwear… gross! Is it really that hard to use some Purell? Or something called '**soap**'? Just once? It's available everywhere.

10: She continues to claim that are going to be married and have tons of children, including one named 'Codierra Jr.' This is possibly one of the most disturbing things yet. Normal people don't have idle chat with you about how you're both going to make babies one day. Sierra is not attractive. She's not sane! So give me one good reason why I would EVER, in my whole life span, find it a positive to make babies with THAT? It's as though someone is getting a good laugh out of this. Trust me, there is nothing funny about Sierra telling you how much she wants you to 'take her on'.

11: Sierra tried to throw away Gwen's bra. The one I worked so hard to get. The one I got during the first season. She really shouldn't be so opposed to me having Gwen's bra, seeing how much she enjoys those pee stained boxers. And besides, that is one of my prized possessions! I keep that in my pocket during EVERY. SINGLE. CHALLENGE. Is that weird? It's only for good luck. You know, everyone has things like that, don't they? …Don't judge me.

12: Her eyes are the scariest things you've ever seen. They are bug eyes. You know how on cartoons and stuff, they sometimes show you what it's like to see from a fly's perspective, or if you're using a kaleidoscope, how it makes it seem like there are twenty billion different images when really and truly, there is only one? This must be how Sierra see's all the time, like an annoying little bug, because her eyes are always wide. I really can't remember a time when I saw her blink. The only good thing about her way too big eyes is that I know I'd be screwing myself by challenging her to a staring contest. Mostly because she'd probably try to kiss me. Or worse.

13: She's bald. It wouldn't be as bad if it was smooth bald. No, this bald has a charcoal burnt head and little fringed purple hairs sticking up from it. I used to think that her nasty purple hair was unattractive. Used to. Until I saw that. I still have the suspicion that a rat was truly nesting in the deep folds of her braid, so I guess no hair is better than a big old herding ground for mice. Doesn't make her look any better, though. Maybe if she wasn't so bad looking… nope. I'm pretty sure I still wouldn't like her.

14: She really has no reason for being on this show. No reason. She is just an uber-obsessed fan who, from what I can see, has no real compassion to win or fight for the money. Sometimes I feel that the only reason she is here is to stalk me. Again, I feel a little self-centered saying that, but she nearly kills herself just to please me. I really don't know if she thinks that her acts of failing heroism impress me or not, but I know that no one else is crazy enough to pick me over a ton of cash. It's not love. Some might call it that. But it's not. It's just insanity. But truly, her and Ale-idiot shouldn't even be on the show. Have they increased ratings or something? Because that's really messed up if you think stalking is cool, or if you think that me being forced to watch out for my virginity if awesome and entertaining. If that appeals to you, you are one sick cookie.

15: She's not Gwen. ('Nuff said, am I right?)

A/N: It's just… wrong. Sierra is just a wrong character. I don't know. Her and Ale (I'm gonna call him that since he apparently can't stand it) just peeve me off.

I had a lot of fun writing this though! –smiles-

Thanks for reading!


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